But here's hoping. 69. I found it in my business. Help! When you disappear its a beautiful day. This must be the first signs of old age. I never even listen when you tell me them. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Let them know that you have chosen not to react to their remark because you consider it toxic. Before you came along we were hungry. That is where most accidents happen. 3. Youre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. The Top Emojis Guys Use when They Like or Love You, 9 Reasons Why a Girl Calls You Dude & How to Respond. Use these when you don't feel like being sweet as a peach the next time you find yourself arguing with a bully. Might as well take a trip to the moon while you're at it. Hold still. And the best part? z1ntent 9 mo. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. Thanks for helping me understand that. Wish I had a flip phone so I could slam it shut on this conversation. 20. Being told that you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome the compliment. Its Me, MargaretThe Classic Banned Book Is Finally Getting Made Into A Movie, Why You Self-Sabotage Your Relationships (And How To Stop), 21 Things I Wish I Knew While Dating In My 20s. I have a big forehead, you are immature, nobody is perfect. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. Someday youll go far. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. When you give this response, you are justifying why the person may think that way about you. Be ready and willing to pick apart what someone says. If you love this resource, don't miss our amazing resource Verbal Self Defense Made Easy bundle that will teach you how to effortlessly shut down rude people in record time. They often hide behind the shield of their unwavering "honesty," but be careful not to confuse honesty with unpleasant, baseless . By this, compare your situation to theirs and make theirs look grave. Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. Youre the type of person that uses their 3. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. 61. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Guy: Can I buy you a drink?Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! They blurt out the first thing that comes to their mind, without thinking about the consequences. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. No matter where you go, people, have a way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. 82 Chuck Norris Jokes//91 Yo Mama Jokes//154 Bad Jokes//118 Bad Dad Jokes, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines 30. I think you should go and apologize to it. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? 10. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Itll also make you look hilarious to anyone who overhears. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Glad I could be of assistance. When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. From their point of view, it is likely that they mean you dont have friends like them. My straightener is hotter than you. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. 100. 1. Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks: I was today years old when I realized I didn't like you. Only a socially-awkward jackass would make a comment like that. You sound better with your mouth closed. 38. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. Bro you lookin at my dick thats hella weird. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally. Theyre completely savage, so use them carefully! Yes, you must have 10 times as many brain cells as I! We've all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. But Ill keep trying. You're so ugly, you couldn't even arouse suspicion. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); Top Comebacks When Someone Calls You A Clown, What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Leave Their Comfort Zone, Is It Rude to Ask for a Tip (Heres What We Know! Thats your parents job. There was some terrible traffic accident on the news today. You better pay it extra. 2. You need to be able to quickly gather your thoughts and say something witty in return. You can either turn the other cheek around or step up to them so that they do not keep going down this road. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. 56. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. 87. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. 25. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. How many languages? ago. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. Its used to describe the feeling you get when you come up with great comebacks but not until after the fact! 10. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. "You're stuck up" "Jealousy is a disease. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" 1. 9. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. But if you get yourself familiar with some classic comeback statements, youd be able to flaunt confidence whenever such hurtful words are said to you. no man it was a comeback for the dude saying it . Ylwppl 9 mo. If you have a large forehead, no doubt you have been roasted for it many times. Allow me to be the first one. I need a come back for being called small brain. Ditch the outfit. If you're feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there are even zingers for the notorious cranky customer. Best Roasts |Best Dark Jokes Ever feel like you just don't know how to speak up for yourself? That can be a good thing. When you can establish with your response that you are not craving low-level friendships like the person in the name of being social, you will be seen as an independent and confident individual. Privacy Policy. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? 68. 4 minutes. Isnt there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. The only person falling for you is blind. Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. Dont end there. Only a socially-awkward jackass would make a comment like that. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. You bring everyone so much joy when. Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you. 22. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. A funny comeback will help you win any argument. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. if my forehead big atleast i got a bigger brainn ! 30+ Baddie Comebacks to Insults 1. Ill never forget the first time we met. my brain fits my forehead, unlike you i have a bigger one c: My forehead IS big But your ego is bigger! Mind if I take yours? 8. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. It's bigger than the women your dad sleeps with. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Go have a redbull Purposeful and intentional people are respected and feared. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. Why didnt you choose the dark alleyway? I never even listen when you tell me them. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Justify why you truly have no friends. Theyll find this collection of roasts hilarious! Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. 4. 2. If you ever encounter a bully or anyone who says something mean to you for no good reason, snap right back at them! Good job. I am returning your nose. Its the sound of me not caring. ago. 3. May 26, 2021 by Emma. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. Oh, Im sorry. All of this insulting isn't good. I think you've confused me with someone who cares. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. They say opposites attract. Don't dish out what you can't take in return. 96. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Hope you have some business, well go and do that! ago. Well, who the hell are YOU? A good roast in response to someone telling you that you have no life could be something along the lines of: Well, at least I have a life more interesting than yours which consists of sitting around all day and doing nothing. The next time they annoy you, say these witty words. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. Lets start with your bank account. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. 60. However, if the statement is coming from your peers like classmates, club members, or people outside your family, then the possibility that they are saying it to make you feel like you are missing out is high. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ), What To Say When Someone Adds You On Snapchat. You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. A friend had been pulled over for speeding in Malibu and the cop told him "Go back to Mexico." I'm a Chumash! I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Smart and witty comebacks for someone says "make me" If you ask a person to shut up, or do something, and he/she responds with "make me" in a rude way, then you'll need some smart and witty comebacks. I believe in business before pleasure. You can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there.". Its kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. I dont want to rain on your parade. The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. Row, row, row your boat gently down a raging fucking waterfall. Good luck. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! You shouldnt waste your time on people who do not have good intentions towards you just because you want to prove you can make friends with people. 63. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? 62. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! 97. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Watch popular content from the following creators: Comebacks . Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. I will have to lie to myself about liking you if you insist in accepting you as you are. Grab our FREE starter guide, so you know not only what to say- but how to say it. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. Stop trying to make everything small to relate to your small body parts. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. What did you want to be when you grew up? I believed in evolution until I met you. When you disappear its a beautiful day. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 43. I want you on the other side of it. I thought of you today. We hope you enjoy this website. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. RELATED:These 6 Personality Types Always Need To Have The Last Word And Win Every Argument. There are so many paths in life. 66. You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. But Ill keep trying. Top 100 Friendship Quotes | True Friends Quotes To Share, 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Dont Have Any Friends. 2. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? 1. I do not mind you talking a lot, as long as you do not mind me not paying attention. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. 2. However, we normally feel some form of relief when we cry. It makes the person curious about your intentionality. Realistic people are admired. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Dont delay. Thanks for the compliment! "You're such a nerd" "Thanks for calling me smart, honey." "I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter than you." 5. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. You are the human version of period cramps. 86. Youre not simply a drama queen. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. Please, keep talking. Are you ready to hop in that garbage can? Jealousy is a disease. he shot back. 34. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. Daily Mail. You should hear the ones I keep to myself. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. I'm sorry; I didn't realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. It takes me a lot of effort to smile when youre around. You are like a cloud. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. I bet If you run the way your mouth does, you'd be in good shape. Pay no heed to it. If the person you said this was part of your friend at the time he or she made the statement, you can threaten your relationship with the person and say that you want to make new ones. I want you to leave. I've got to stop you. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive ever met. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Worry about your eyebrows. 10 times 0 is zero, you have proven my point. That must suck. Id hate to come across a universe where youre funny. Check out101 Funny Quotes101 Corny Jokes101 Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Whered you get your clothes, girl, American Apparently Not? Youre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. The kind and number of friends you keep in your circle are more of your business than theirs. Im still trying to figure out yours. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. 27. Enjoy! Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". Can you stop talking more often? 78. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! No, the 3rd one down. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Id finally get some peace and quiet. Stupidity isn't a crime, so youre free to go. I think you should go and apologize to it. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. Lasts longer in bed, too. 89. 5. Time to take you back to the enclosure now. RELATED:27 Passive-Aggressive Quotes That Are Actually Pretty Inspiring. Then why are you all up in my. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? They say you're dumb? 77. 5. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! Me: Fleetwood Mac. Someday you'll go far. Are all your friends this stupid as well? Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full pricewine, food delivery, clothing and more. If you can pass a message that the person knows nothing other than to tell lies, then it would be easily interpreted by others that what they are saying about you not having friends is also a lie among other lies the person is fond of telling. You better take care of it, dear. A pain in the ass? You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Go back to wherever you came from! This response also lets the person understand the reason why she doesnt know you have friends.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-box-4','ezslot_6',118,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-box-4-0'); It could be that the person has said that to you because they want you to feel you are missing out for not having someone like them as friends. This also ruins the moment. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. 52. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! I wanted to live life without many regrets. You look like something that came out of aslow cooker. Like six. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Clinic. I was hoping that it was you. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. 41. I want a typhoon. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. You just have bad luck when youre thinking. Icy_Leek_6933 5 mo. That is where most accidents happen. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. If you were a spice, you'd be flour. 3 4 4 comments Best Add a Comment Icy_Wave7089 1 yr. ago That's what your mother said about you That makes two of us Now I see why I attract such a loser like u That's what came up in your Mri report You must be so tired to come up with such a genius comeback on your own . You got into an argument with a frenemy or a stranger and they got you so riled up that you couldnt come up with a good comeback until long after the fighting is over. Responses like you put you in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than them. Always act mature, even if you're really not. 64. If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. Indirectly, you are saying the person who seems to imply that he has more friends than you have fake friends. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. Who do you think I am? Then he will say of course i do ! The Chumash are an indigenous people of coastal California. 5. Dont worry. Make sure you commit these to memory. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. 200 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. So, dont jump to conclusions so that you dont say things that will end up hurting those that care about you. The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of Natural Disasters.. 59. Source: https://ishouldhavesaid.net/what-to-say-when-people-make-fun-of-your-big-forehead/. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. Were you born on the highway? just not around you." 3. The obvious interpretation of this comeback is that the remark of the person is a toxic trait that makes you handpick the kind of person you choose to hang around with. Dont be ashamed of who you are. It's hard to come up with a good roast right on the spot when you're in a confrontation. 51. 3. There is even a 5head club, which Urban Dictionary defines as, "When someone's forehead is so big, that it can no longer be called a forehead. I envy people who have never met you. But it strikes even harder when you rub it on the persons face that you are giving them the silent treatment to emphasize this reason. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. You get into peoples hair. 30 Best Comebacks When Someone Says You Don't Have Any Friends 1. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. Theres actually a French term for this called lesprit de lescalier. What did you do with the diaper? That's a plus for me because I don't get to deal with people like you. ", You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window.". 44. You suck. "You're Boring" "And what makes you so interesting?" 4. Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories.
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